Tag: breath

How to Keep Going After Tragedy Hits

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It’s been said many times over that ” Life goes on”.  I am a true believer in that.  Life does go on, with or without you.  Traumatic tragedy and trauma are all around us.   It’s a fact that while on this earth we will all experience loss, sickness, disability, or separation from a loved one.  All of our stories are different , but no one is immune when it comes to these things.  It is just part of being human.

I feel like I have experienced so much  in my short 40 years on this earth and I am sure there will be more to come.  Here is what I’ve learned along the way to help process things , and to assist anyone out there struggling with finding the inspiration to keep going.

Ask for Help

Trauma can rewire our thinking.  Sometimes you are so far in that hole , you don’t know which way is up.  Ask someone to throw you a rope .  Don’t be ashamed to call on friends for help.  Let them know you are struggling and try to be clear about what it is you need from them.  Maybe it is just someone to listen.  Maybe you need a laugh.  Often times our family and friends will try in ways they hope are helpful but actually are not beneficial to our healing because it wasn’t what we needed at the time.  Be clear on what it is you need from them.  Don’t count out support groups or a professional therapist.  It is comforting to speak about sensitive things with someone outside your circle that has a professional background in what you are dealing with.  In a group setting you will find people who are experiencing the same things.  This can be a comforting safe space for you to not only express yourself , but to find contrast .

Find Contrast

Take a look around, you are not the only one in pain.  It’s true what they say you know?  ” It could always be worse”.  What a terrible way to see things huh?  I don’t think so because it opens up this line of  positive thinking somehow.  At the times I have felt the lowest,  it helped me to see that compared to some , my troubles are a walk in the park.  I’m not talking about comparing your wounds.  I’m talking about finding a space in your soul where you can tell yourself ” Yes this is bad, I’m in a place that doesn’t feel good, but it could be worse. “.   Then look past all that negativity and find what is good in your life.

Focus on the Good

It could be the littlest things.  You have a home.  You have a bed. etc. etc.  Start simple to get it going.  One tool I acquired over the years was a technique where you do exactly that.  Each morning and night you sit and count all the things you are grateful for in your life.  Tragedy only brings more tragedy if we dwell on it and keep it in our thoughts too long.  Being grateful and appreciating what is good in your life will bring more good.  Make sense?  I use a string of beads  that my daughter pieced together when she was little.  I close my eyes and I hold each bead in my hand while saying something I appreciate about my life.  Take your time with it.  Be very specific and thorough.  List everything.  Do this morning and night for ten days straight and watch how your world starts to shift.

Know that Change is the Only Constant

The only thing we can count on in this world is that things will change.  It’s scary to think about sometimes , but that is the reality.  Mentally prepare yourself so that when bad things happen you can think of it as just another change in your life.  We can’t hold the universe in a choke hold.  We can’t sit in our sorrows too long. It’s all about perspective.  We ourselves give meaning to the things that happen in our life.  We actually have the power to let it take us , or discover that this is just change and life will go on . I personally have experienced some of my biggest wins after tragedy has hit.

Look for Open Doors

In the midst of trauma we can not see past our own face.  Often times there are open doors , with much opportunity to be had, but we miss them because of the fog over our eyes.   Again ” life keeps going with or without you”  .  No matter what has happened , there is a brighter day .  Set your mentality on that and keep your eyes open for “direction” after crisis.  You may find it in a person, place or thing . It may just be a very important lesson you have learned that will help you and possibly others in the future.  It’s all about staying present and living in the now.  This is a major key to life after trauma.

Let it Go

When there is nothing left to do, and nothing left to say, when you have no control over the situation, or the time has past for you to take action;  you must let it go! When we hold on to things it effects us at a cellular level.  I’m not saying to forget a loved one , or forget what happened to you.  I am saying that we have to make peace with things and release control when there is nothing we can do about a situation.  Have you ever heard the line ” stress kills”?  It truly will take you down.  When we experience trauma and we do not find a way to get back to some kind of balance, this is where major disease plants its seeds.  That seed will grow rapidly.  Being aware of how our body feels is very important.  Find ways of healthy release.

Releasing Tension 

Release tension and stress in the body.  Maybe it’s laughter , a nice stretch, a long morning walk, or just breathing . Do something ! A good exercise I use is a method called Box Breathing.  Basically you breathe in for four seconds. Hold it at the top for four seconds.  Let it out for four seconds and then hold it at the bottom for another four.  Repeat that sequence four or five times.  There is such a power in the breath when resetting the mind and body.  This will also open your diaphragm and help the blood and muscles get oxygenated. Exercise also offers a moment/space for the mind to take a rest and focus on something else .  It can be such a helpful tool when you can’t stop thinking about something.

In closing:

Life is complicated.  There will always be highs and lows.  Some of the lows catch us by surprise.  In those moments remember to:

Stay Present

Ask For Help

Focus on what is Good in your Life

Know that it is Only Change

Look for Open Doors

Let go of what you Can’t Control

Find a way to Release the Stress in your Physical Body

 

Don’t give up ! You will get through this!  Stay present friends.  Be Well.

 

 

 

 

Instant Pain Relief with Simple Tools

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There are simple and easy techniques that can be learned and applied in those moments of  pain escalation that can bring you back down to some kind of homeostasis (balance).  I’m not talking about magic cures or fancies remedies that make things disappear (Although you would be very surprised). I am talking about having tools in your tool belt to deal with chronic pain and stress when they arrive in our day to day lives .  Sometimes if you take a moment to reset your mind and body , you can function and get through the tasks at hand .

Here are six quick and simple tools:

1. Breathe

Yes.  You have heard it before.  Just breathe.  Take a minute for yourself.  Sit or stand with your spine erect and diaphragm(chest cavity) opened.  Close your eyes.  Take four or five deep breaths.  Breathing directly into the space holding the physical pain.  This will oxygenate the blood and muscles. Clear your thoughts for a moment, only focusing on the breath. Slow down your heart rate.  Quite everything down so much that you can hear your own heart beat.  Then open your eyes and feel the space that has been made.  There is serious power in the breath.  There are so many techniques but I like box breathing for this exercise .  It consists of a four second inhale……Holding for four seconds at the top of the breath, then releasing for four seconds and repeating the cycle several times.  Just nice easy breaths, taking your time while counting, and making sure to use up full lung capacity.  It is a beautiful tool, the breath.  So much power to create change.

2. Mood Enhancers / Mood Stabilizers

Sometimes it helps to look ahead and keep things with you that you might need throughout the day.  I like to carry a couple essential oils with me.  There are several that are absolutely amazing for mood management.  I love Wild Orange any time day or night.  It always seems to enhance my mood immediately.  I basically run it in my diffuser 24 hours a day.  If you are out and about , simply put a drop in your hands and inhale .  Do you ever feel that two o’clock  drag?  Where your body is tired and  hurting and you are just done?  Try Peppermint and Wild Orange together for an amazing pick- me-up.

For mood stabilization I like to go with woodsy /grounding oils like DoTERRA Balance Blend, or even just some good ole’ Lavender .  It always seems to have a positive effect on those around you after applying/ diffusing it.

There are so many options in choices of oils and how to apply them, but these are a great start.

3. Topical Application

Let’s not forget the power of just applying something topically where the pain is.  If you can trick your mind for a few minutes, you can find temporary relief physically and mentally.   I love DoTERRA Deep Blue Rub for muscle aches and pains.  It’s so penetrating.  It does have the classic menthol smell.  If you want to stay away from that I recommend Lavender or Siberian Fir for tired achy muscles. Apply ( with proper dilution)to desired area of pain while breathing deeply.

4. EFT/Tapping

This is a gem I ran across about four years ago in a very trying time.  I can’t tell you how much it helped me then, and how much I use it now for a quick reset. Here is a link on EFT if you want to know more .  You don’t have to do it exactly how they teach it as far as the wording.  It’s important to learn the simple sequence of moves 1-9 , and why/how they are working for you, and then you can add your own words or meanings as you go  ( that’s what I do).  This is worth checking out and I do really believe in it’s benefits.

5. Guided Imagery

I was introduced to this while working in a Cancer Institute in 2003.  They offered this CEU to all the patients and staff.  It was titled “Pain and Stress Management with Guided Imagery”.   During the class , I remember thinking ” This is a bunch of hocus pocus, I can’t believe they are offering this in a medical facility. ” .  By the end of the class I was a true believer. I felt little to no pain in my body and my mood had completely shifted. Learn more here.  I highly recommend this as an early morning routine or before bed.  There are so many different examples for specific needs.   Search You Tube and find your favorite. I love facilitating these in my massage sessions to release stress and trauma. It’s a great tool with some surprising healing qualities.

6. Affirmations

This was also introduced to me at that same CEU on guided imagery. They described it as another form, and it is literally one of my favorite tools to reset.  You can pick one affirmation through the day and say it.  You can make certain affirmations for certain situations.  You can find all kinds of longer affirmations on-line( You Tube) for specific ailments.  Basically it’s a reprogramming of the mind.  It is very powerful.  It feels a little silly at first, but once you tap into it, it can become a very important tool in your tool belt. Learn more /get examples here . I chose one on anxiety and depression for an example.  This will give you a good idea of what affirmations are and how to use them in your daily life.

 

Thank you so much for your time in reading this.  I hope it was helpful.  Please leave your questions and comments below.  I’d love to hear what your thoughts are on these subjects and maybe how they have helped you.  Be well