Cutting the Cord- It’s OK to separate yourself from toxic family members.

January 7, 2019January 7, 2019Leave a comment

At the beginning of our lives we are attached to our mother by an umbilical cord that literally pumps nutrients and life for our vitality as a young infant. It is an absolute part of being born. There is no denying that you are literally tied to a life supply from your mother. ( Thanks to all the Moms out there bringing life into the world.)

On the other side of that is this invisible cord we seem to keep attached to family members no matter what the cost . Our sisters, brothers, aunts, uncles; they all play a role in how we become who we are. Our family is an extension of us. Somehow you are bound to them for life. But at what cost?

We just finished the holiday season. How many of us feel completely drained of energy from having to suck it up and spend time with our disturbed family members? After about 20 years of feeling highly uncomfortable and almost “forced ” to engage with toxic people, I decided to do it differently this year. No awkward preparations ( you know wouldn’t have been good enough somehow), no worrying about peoples likes and dislikes, and no anxiety about the blow up that happens every year because we can’t all operate peacefully in the same space.

The absence of a few people made all the difference in the world. It made me wonder why I had put myself through the misery for so long?

Here are some key points I came away with this season:

Boundaries are important and necessary

If you don’t feel comfortable around someone you don’t have to be around them. Simple. Life changes. Everyone is different. We must know ourselves and our own boundaries, and be able to stand by them when they are tested. Follow your truth.

Follow your truth

Don’t allow others to walk all over your beliefs / life practices just because they are / have been an authority to you in the past. The role of a parent is to raise a child and put them out into the world as a decent human being. To teach us things while we are young and set a blueprint/foundation to build on. They are right when they say there is no book on how to be a perfect parent ( actually there are several awesome resources to direct you now.) . For a long time parents just went by what they were taught from their parents and tried their best. Sometimes you want to live differently than you were taught and that is OK. Follow your truth . Find a way to send love and be kind. Do not break your own boundaries and beliefs because of someone who “used” to have authority over you, thinks your way is wrong.

Honor your Mother , Father, Sister and Brother

Good ole’ Mommy and Daddy. They did on a physical level, bring you into this world. For the most part I’m sure they tried to raise you the best they knew how. Maybe you don’t see eye-to-eye now. Maybe you don’t even speak anymore. That’s OK. No matter what the situation always send them love and kindness. Honor them for who they are. Be grateful for the life they gave you and always send out good vibrations for them/ towards them. Appreciate them for all they have taught you. Good or bad it has made you into who you are as an adult. This also goes for brothers and sisters, uncles and aunts . They have played a role in your life. Respect them for who they are and send them love. Stay free of anger and hate. That helps no one.

You aren’t who you once were

We change over our lifetimes. All of us do. We experience many places and philosophies. The world changes all around us. We are not the little children of yesterday. Most of us have children of our own . We see ourselves in them and wonder if we are having a positive impact on their lives? Think back about how much you have changed, look at all the situations and struggles, all the success that inspired you to do more, how the path and surroundings changed . You are not who you once were. Often times I think older family members get stuck on how it ” should be” or how it “used to be” and forget that we are ever changing. Nothing stays the same . Know who you are. Be brave enough to stand in that place. You earned that authority over yourself.

It’s ok to cut the cord

Just like when you were a baby, you can cut yourself free from that invisible cord. You will be able to sustain yourself. When you know your worth, know your strengths, create healthy boundaries, and reflect to all involved only love and appreciation, then It’s more than ok to cut the cord . Bad blood becomes toxic to our systems. You are not bound to negativity of the past. You are not “forced” to surround yourself with toxic family members. Do what’s best for you.

In closing:

I know it is hard sometimes to turn away family. Just because you love and appreciate them does not mean you must surround yourself with them for sake of holidays and tradition. You should not be forced to let your energy be drained by someone because they hold the title of family member.

At some point we all become adults and are responsible for our own lives and well- being. Be good to yourself. Find what/who resonates with you. Be OK with the fact that you might need to rearrange after healthy boundaries are set so that you can live your best life. It is not unkind. It is not cruel. You are doing everyone a favor by not continuing the dysfunction. Go ahead………

CUT THE CORD !

Thank you for taking time to read this. I would love to hear any stories or thoughts you may have. Any advice for someone struggling with family dysfunctions?

Be well everyone.

5 Natural Ways to Boost your Energy

December 6, 2018December 6, 2018Leave a comment

We are all searching for that magical boost of energy to get us through our day. I truly believe it is a mix of sleeping well, eating right, exercise , and stress reduction that help boost our energy levels each day. But who am I kidding, when that’s not feasible, I want something fast that works when I need it.

Here are a few natural and safe things I’ve used over the years to gain energy .

1. MCT Oil

Medium-Chain Triglycerides. Most commonly extracted from coconut oil . There are four different types of MCTs available . Caprylic and Capric Acid are the most commonly used and have several unique health benefits. Since MCTs easily enter your cells without being broken down, they can be used as an immediate source of energy .MCTs can also be converted into ketones in the liver. These ketones can pass through your blood-brain barrier, making them a convenient source of energy for your brain cells.

2. Peppermint Oil (mentha piperita)

When I need a quick pick-me-up , I grab my Peppermint Oil. It is great for those two o’clock drags. I simply put a drop in my hands and inhale deeply through the nose and mouth. Make sure to wash your hands afterwards so you don’t get it in your eyes. Also watch for any skin sensitivities . Don’t over do it. One drop is all you need . . Make sure any oil you use, is therapeutic grade if you are putting it on the body . You could also diffuse it for concentration , focus and accuracy. ( order peppermint oil here )

3. A Quick Workout

Even if it’s for two minutes . Get your blood flowing. Go for a short walk, bust out 20 jumping jacks , or some stretches and deep breathing. Inverted yoga poses such as Downward Dog are amazing for a quick energy re-boot . Any of these will assist your muscles and blood to become oxygenated. Choose something that fits your lifestyle . Movement always helps me feel better and gives me a boost when I’m feeling fatigued.

4. Cucumbers

Cucumbers are over estimated. They are full of water which is great for hydration, but they have many other nutrients/ vitamins/ benefits that may surprise you . Cucumbers contain just enough carbohydrates and B vitamins to give you a longer-lasting and healthier boost of energy than soda, coffee, or those health hazard energy drinks. They are rich with electrolytes, low in calories, and contain thiamine, riboflavin, niacin, vitamin B-6, and vitamin A. One cup of cucumber provides around 11% of the daily value for vitamin K. Cucumbers also contain lignans, which research suggests, lowers the risk of cardiovascular disease and several types of cancer. So next time you are crashing reach for a cucumber and reap the benefits!

5.Water

The simplest, but most important of all. Water consumption is crucial . The body/mind will become sluggish at all of it’s operations when dehydrated. On average you should be drinking half your body weight ( in ounces) every day. More or less depending on how you exercise ,or if you have other health issues. It seems so easy and cheap. It is! Carry a bottle with you and just sip it through the day . If this is absent from your lifestyle right now and you are tired all the time , this little change could make all the difference .

In conclusion, there are so many natural options out there for you to utilize. Sometimes we need to go outside the box ( soda, coffee, energy drinks) and try to find simple lifestyle changes that can make a huge difference in our day-to-day lives. Try to eat right, get proper rest, exercise, and reduce stress daily. This will surely help fight fatigue and gain the energy level you desire

Thank you for taking time to read this. I would love to hear any feedback or tools you use to stay energized naturally. Be Well.

Instant Pain Relief with Simple Tools

November 27, 20181 Comment

There are simple and easy techniques that can be learned and applied in those moments of pain escalation that can bring you back down to some kind of homeostasis (balance). I’m not talking about magic cures or fancies remedies that make things disappear (Although you would be very surprised). I am talking about having tools in your tool belt to deal with chronic pain and stress when they arrive in our day to day lives . Sometimes if you take a moment to reset your mind and body , you can function and get through the tasks at hand .

Here are six quick and simple tools:

1. Breathe

Yes. You have heard it before. Just breathe. Take a minute for yourself. Sit or stand with your spine erect and diaphragm(chest cavity) opened. Close your eyes. Take four or five deep breaths. Breathing directly into the space holding the physical pain. This will oxygenate the blood and muscles. Clear your thoughts for a moment, only focusing on the breath. Slow down your heart rate. Quite everything down so much that you can hear your own heart beat. Then open your eyes and feel the space that has been made. There is serious power in the breath. There are so many techniques but I like box breathing for this exercise . It consists of a four second inhale……Holding for four seconds at the top of the breath, then releasing for four seconds and repeating the cycle several times. Just nice easy breaths, taking your time while counting, and making sure to use up full lung capacity. It is a beautiful tool, the breath. So much power to create change.

2. Mood Enhancers / Mood Stabilizers

Sometimes it helps to look ahead and keep things with you that you might need throughout the day. I like to carry a couple essential oils with me. There are several that are absolutely amazing for mood management. I love Wild Orange any time day or night. It always seems to enhance my mood immediately. I basically run it in my diffuser 24 hours a day. If you are out and about , simply put a drop in your hands and inhale . Do you ever feel that two o’clock drag? Where your body is tired and hurting and you are just done? Try Peppermint and Wild Orange together for an amazing pick- me-up.

For mood stabilization I like to go with woodsy /grounding oils like DoTERRA Balance Blend, or even just some good ole’ Lavender . It always seems to have a positive effect on those around you after applying/ diffusing it.

There are so many options in choices of oils and how to apply them, but these are a great start.

3. Topical Application

Let’s not forget the power of just applying something topically where the pain is. If you can trick your mind for a few minutes, you can find temporary relief physically and mentally. I love DoTERRA Deep Blue Rub for muscle aches and pains. It’s so penetrating. It does have the classic menthol smell. If you want to stay away from that I recommend Lavender or Siberian Fir for tired achy muscles. Apply ( with proper dilution)to desired area of pain while breathing deeply.

4. EFT/Tapping

This is a gem I ran across about four years ago in a very trying time. I can’t tell you how much it helped me then, and how much I use it now for a quick reset. Here is a link on EFT if you want to know more . You don’t have to do it exactly how they teach it as far as the wording. It’s important to learn the simple sequence of moves 1-9 , and why/how they are working for you, and then you can add your own words or meanings as you go ( that’s what I do). This is worth checking out and I do really believe in it’s benefits.

5. Guided Imagery

I was introduced to this while working in a Cancer Institute in 2003. They offered this CEU to all the patients and staff. It was titled “Pain and Stress Management with Guided Imagery”. During the class , I remember thinking ” This is a bunch of hocus pocus, I can’t believe they are offering this in a medical facility. ” . By the end of the class I was a true believer. I felt little to no pain in my body and my mood had completely shifted. Learn more here. I highly recommend this as an early morning routine or before bed. There are so many different examples for specific needs. Search You Tube and find your favorite. I love facilitating these in my massage sessions to release stress and trauma. It’s a great tool with some surprising healing qualities.

6. Affirmations

This was also introduced to me at that same CEU on guided imagery. They described it as another form, and it is literally one of my favorite tools to reset. You can pick one affirmation through the day and say it. You can make certain affirmations for certain situations. You can find all kinds of longer affirmations on-line( You Tube) for specific ailments. Basically it’s a reprogramming of the mind. It is very powerful. It feels a little silly at first, but once you tap into it, it can become a very important tool in your tool belt. Learn more /get examples here . I chose one on anxiety and depression for an example. This will give you a good idea of what affirmations are and how to use them in your daily life.

Thank you so much for your time in reading this. I hope it was helpful. Please leave your questions and comments below. I’d love to hear what your thoughts are on these subjects and maybe how they have helped you. Be well

Quote Of The Day 11-9-2018

November 9, 2018November 9, 2018Leave a comment

“Attitude is Everything”

grayscale photography of girl in long sleeved top and jeans outfit

Photo by Janko Ferlic on Pexels.com

” Attitude is a choice. Happiness is a choice. Optimism is a choice. Kindness is a choice. Giving is a choice. Whatever choice you make , makes you. Choose wisely”

~Roy T. Bennett, The Light in the heart

Finding A Balance when Dealing with Chronic Pain

November 8, 2018November 27, 2018Leave a comment

Hi Readers,

I am a long-term sufferer of Chronic Pain. The Past 24 years I have been on a mission to find, Natural, Safe, and Effective techniques and tools to help aid me in being a happier, healthier me. This is what I want to spread to my readers. My Testimonies, My Struggles, and most Importantly my Successes!!

Anyone Dealing with Chronic Pain knows there is more to it than just medicines you take, or the type of exercise you do. It typically becomes a lifestyle choice. A choice to put your well-being first, to love yourself, to check your emotional well-being, your nutrition, your sleep patterns, and many other things are in this equation to living a ” Pain Free” life.

Therefore Readers, each of my posts will contain several elements. First addressing the localized pain with tools, exercises, and treatments. Second, The emotional connections that deal with the certain type of pain being discussed. Third a nutritional tip of some sort. And Finally a few of my personal recommendations. Along the way will be a few inspirational quotes or links to articles that will stimulate action and progression in your journey to health and happiness.

Living “Pain Free” is a fantasy to some. It takes a well-rounded foundation. A” Balance” in our daily activities. A pyramid of health to build on, is the most wonderful place to start. So today we keep it simple.

more at info at mydoterra.com/jgg

Eat Right, Exercise, Rest and Manage Stress, Reduce Your Toxic Load, Informed Self Care, and Proactive Medical Care. This is the foundation of a Healthy, Happy, Pain Free Life. I cannot stress enough that one thing alone is not going to cut it. A lifestyle choice must be made. A well-rounded decision for Over All Balance.

I look forward to learning more, and experiencing positive changes in my own life, as we struggle through this together. I end this with. Be good to yourself. You are worth it. You deserve the best life has to offer, and there is hope.

Thank you so much for your time in reading this. I hope it was helpful. Please leave your questions and comments below. I’d love to hear what your thoughts are. Be well

Jen Help Me

Massage , Energetic Body Work and Tools for Life

Tag: stress